Youtube… I started youtube a few months ago and I was like okay this is my shit… I am going to make hundreds of videos and become a youtube sensation.. hahahahaha NOT! I didn’t realize how much time and effort filming a video takes. What people watching see in 15min takes about an hour to film and about 4 hours to edit lol. But I didn’t mind it. I really enjoyed it and it kinda went from strictly makeup videos to all kinds of videos. Recently I have been getting more subscribers and I thought okay its time to make another video, considering a month had lapsed since my last one. Soooooo I set up all the lights and camera and blah blah blah… I filmed a 45 minute fuckin video only to HATE IT.
Hahah so let me say why I hated it. I was like happy dandy the first half of the video.. and then the second half I was like omg why am I so ugly right now..lmao. YES this happens to us all at some point in our life. Well for me its often. People assume because I get so many compliments I am the most confident person alive.. and most the time I am because I am happy within, but last night I had a moment guys.. I looked at the projector and was like damn I look so fucking ugly, pale and fat right now haaha.. so after crying for about 10min I just closed my camera without shooting and intro and walked out!!!! LOL I am fucking crazy I know but I am real and I am human. I don’t want to come off as fake and yaaaaay I am perfect cuz I am far from it. We all have our moments and I wanted to share that last night was mine… to be honest Id much rather be in New York for fashion week than shooting a Youtube video…..COMMON FASHION PEOPLE SEND ME ALREADY!! haha
POINT OF THE STORY: I AM JUST AS HUMAN AS YOU ARE AND WE ALL HAVE OUR “FUCK IM UGLY RIGHT NOW” MOMENTS!!
Of course.. had I filmed an Intro I would have probably uploaded the video today because I snapped out of that shit real quick!! and that ladies and gents is how the cookie crumbles.. in a girls world at least!!!
Here is the look I was supposed to share but didn’t…
P.S If you look closely at the pic above you will spot a WHITE FUCKIN STRAND OF HAIR… Im getting old!!!!